Love starts with respect. Most people who grow up to be teachers loved school when they were young. They loved their teachers, they loved learning, they were often successful students and they respected the teacher and the rules. School was a great place for them. Because they respected adults, they entered the teaching profession believing that all children would respect adults just by virtue of their age and position. Regrettably, that is not the situation for every child. Children come to school and bond with those who have the most in common with the ones they respect outside of school. What happens if you don’t share the same race, gender, socioeconomic status, religion, or culture? You have to be the one to initiate and cultivate the relationship. I’m not going to tell you it is easy. I am also not suggesting that you will be successful the first time or just because you tried. For some, it will be a mountain that you climb every single day that school year but it will be worth it. The reward may not come before the end of the school year but fifteen years later when you get a graduation announcement, or a wedding invitation, or a surprise letter in the mail. You will never earn greater dividends than when you invest in children so every day that you leave the school thinking you did not make a difference, know that your “payday” will come much later. Young children are more perceptive than we give them credit for. They can read body language, facial expression, and attitude before they are literate. They determine how you feel about them before they decide how they feel about you. Everything speaks.

PEC students often don’t “love” themselves. They have not been successful in school, they may have been made fun of, they may have been bullied or picked on, and, more likely than not, there is no one in their life who genuinely listens to them. When I was a K and 1^st grade Inclusion teacher, on Mondays and days we returned back to school after a break, we used to build time into the beginning of the day for students to “share”. They always had SO much to say that to jump right into academics would have been not only a  waste of time, but would have invalidated that they were important enough to listen to. 

We also realized that many of our students did not have anyone who “actively” listened to them….. about anything. Being fully present with a child, and actively listening to their thoughts, concerns, joys and disappointments, builds relationships, which can lead to establishing a partnership built on love and respect.

Pamela Webster, M. Ed. SPED

If you are an experienced teacher with a story to share, be sure to add it in the comments below.