Email is the most common way of communicating between a parent and a teacher. Emails are tricky. First, they are permanent. You can delete them but they still exist. When someone sends an email when they are emotional or especially upset, it sets a tone for an exchange of words that is hard to escape. Finally, you can’t control the tone in which your response is read. As with the law, anything you type, can and will be used against you. When I receive a particularly upsetting email, I will generally answer with a phone call. That way I can make sure the tone is appropriate and my words won’t be picked apart (or shared on social media, or printed on the front page of the newspaper). Further, there is no electronic paper trail that can be forwarded to anyone who is not part of the conversation. Again, every child in your classroom is the center of someone’s universe and because you often spend more of that child’s waking hours influencing him or her, a balance of influence is needed. It is important for you not to call immediately when you receive the email because you need time to process the communication as well as the sender needs time to cool down. However, don’t wait too long to make the sender believe you ignored it. If you receive a hostile email in the morning, call after school but don’t wait longer than 48 hours. If you need help responding, ask your grade level chair, counselor or administrator. They are there to help you navigate the tricky stuff.

When I was a young teacher, I owned far too much emotional volatility than I deserved. I always thought that if a parent was angry and accusatory, it was obviously about me. Experience taught me that I was the one in the path of the storm instead of the one who caused the storm. You or your action is not necessarily the catalyst that prompted the hot email. The child is the center of someone’s universe and school is often the first place that serves a harsh reality that something is not right. It is not a bad idea to convey “hard to handle” information in person or on the phone. Reserve email communication for good news only.